Author: Christy Charles
Manufacturer: Breakthrough

FROM CLOSE CALLS Went to the urologist, Monday, convinced I had it. He actually laughed at me when I went over everything and after he did his full exam. Really great doc that I have been to a few times and he assured me nothing was wrong that he can see, he did give me a few std tests to ease my mind. I guess this was a reality check and you better believe I will be more careful and aware of what I do and with whom;

TO LIVING IN DENIAL I've had blisters around my genitals now for a few years and am finally going to the doctors in a couple of days. It seems mad to me now that I've left it so long and have been embarrassed and in serious denial. I get single blisters which are quite large and leave scarring and have no other symptoms. Also did have some raised glands in groin at one point. Am terrified of going to the doctors but it will be a relief to know what's going on one way or the other. Whoever said that ignorance is bliss? Even if it is positive, it will be better than the hell that is waiting and doing nothing.

FROM HAVING THE DREADED TALK I've run thru so many mental positions on this subject it's ridiculous.... like the angel and devil on my shoulder. Cuz altho I'm fully aware of how I feel about having this and wouldn't wish it on another person, there's a part of me that realises I got this from my lifestyle and its an accepted risk that people who 'hook up' or have 1 night stands take...

There are no exceptions. If you have it, you have an obligation to be honest about it. I am more than a little sensitive to this because I wasn't given a chance. I've been rebuffed numerous times since then but that hasn't changed one fact. I do not have the right to become intimate with someone without informing them.

TO HAVING IT GO WRONG OR RIGHT I told her everything yesterday. The initial reaction was of course a massive dose of surprise, mixed in with a little bit of relief (she felt like I was going to try end things). In the end, she said that she respected me that much more for telling her, and that as long we're both aware of the outbreaks and use protection, she's ok with it. She then said that she could only imagine how hard it was for me to go through that alone. And then it was done. Felt good to let it all out and I'm definitely glad I took the time to think things through and really determine if this is someone I want a relationship with.

FROM FALSE ACCEPTANCE When I was first diagnosed I was in the midst of getting back with my off again on again fiancé. He told me he didn't care and he wanted me back and it wasn't my fault and all these kind things in the beginning. As soon as we would go to fool around he would treat me like I was toxic waste. He would be wearing a condom but would not let me touch him at all. He even would slap my hand away! He would like spread my legs so much to the point where it hurt so that none of his skin would come into contact with me at all except the condom. He would also have this disgusted terrified look on his face like he was going into a battle or something. NOT very romantic. I had never felt worse in my whole life.

TO TRUE ACCEPTANCE I am amazed also at how guys still want to have sex with me. I have genital HSV 2 and I have told two guys and it was like I didn't even tell them.

FROM SUFFERING Please help me feel not rejected Well I just got my results today and confirmed that I have HSV2, I was hoping that if it was definite that it would be type 1. I truly have no idea how I will cope if or when I have another out break.

TO FREEDOM FROM OUTBREAKS Outbreak Free and Proud to Be. I am herpes symptom free and proud to be. I even once asked my doctor to do a test to confirm that I had herpes because I certainly didn't think I did anymore. I was actually starting to wonder whether this thing was a figment of my imagination. The doctor said you may be symptom free but this thing just doesn't disappear. Well for me that was healing. That was the point when herpes was no longer an issue. I went on to undertake a natural home birth and I can honestly say that having herpes is not an issue. The issue of herpes was the outbreaks and once I managed those the emotional handicap disappeared.

IN THE EVER ONGOING SEARCH FOR A CURE...

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